2012 in review

2012 has been a huge year for me and where my life has been heading. It had felt like my life had stalled in a deep rut for the last five years. The last year of which I had been putting all my effort into heaving myself out of it. This year just one, all of my hard work has paid off and my life has exploded. Mostly in a good part. I have met and befriended so many new and amazing people, doors have opened for me and I really feel like life has started again. Though its not all been good, with change comes pain, some relationships have failed, old friends become estranged and others have changed in ways that I would not have asked for.

Where do I start? Well as the old saying goes, start at the beginning and end at the end.

Within the first day of 2012 I met a circle of geeks, kingsters, gamers, musclepups, and rubber boys. These people have shown themselves to be great people and I'm so glad I was able to get to know them and feel for the most part like I have fitted in with them. Getting to know so many people who I can share both large interests of my life in so openly and so reciprocated. True I've had other people in my life before who had some small link, but never someone who doesn’t get bored out their mind when I spend ages browsing the shelves at forbidden planet or talking about DC comics continuity.

Also for the other large element is I never thought I would find people who I would end up casually sitting about with, all clad in rubber, watching Itv's Saturday line-up simply because it feels good to wear rubber.

The old friend I lost I'm still dealing with. At the end of the day the way I form relationships and act with my friends brought into existence a situation that drove us apart. It saddens me and I miss him. In many ways he was the first person I felt like I connected with, but over time our friendship became fragile and began to break down as I started to change and come more into the kind of person who I wanted to be. Still from what I know he has moved out to a new country and seems to have found happiness there, which I'm glad about.

The other thing which I would not have chosen to go through this year was no longer having a sir. As we both evolved as people we just sort of drifted into different rolls. He is still my friend, best friend even, and we are close but he now occupies a different space in my life. Since moving away from home he and his daddy have opened there home to me when I needed it and given me a sense of support and security as my life hit the fast lane. Its also been fun being a part time house boy for them both and I can't thank them enough for being there for me. Which is probably why I ended up being puppy sitter for them.

The last, but most important relationship change has been the love of my life and I have gotten back together. Our relationship has never been an easy one simply because at my base nature I am poly-amorous and at his he is monogamous, so to find a ground where we can both feel secure, comfortable and happy has been a challenge but I think we have reached a place where that is possible. We have been able through some tough trial and error to make a framework that works for us and means we can both be happy. Right now the only thing that would make me happier is for his plans to move down to move down to London become a possibility so we could see each other more often.

With all the relationship changes done with lets move onto the biggest change in my life for a while, I have re entered academia and am studying for a degree in computer programming. For a long while I drifted through life not know what direction to take, but now I have taken this path and I am LOVING it. I’m finally being challenged, my mind is being tested and stretched and expanded and its been what I have needed for a long time now. I'm meeting new people and being introduced to new ways of thinking.

I am finally out from under my parents roof and I am loving the freedom it is giving me. To plan my own meals and not be woken up on my days off to my own timetable alone is worth its weight in gold. I had struggled this semester to find the balance of personal time, obligations and uni work but its just been a learning curve and am prepared to take on the next semester confidently by the horns. The biggest struggle I found was working in groups and people proving themselves unreliable and leaving me in the lurch the night before a projects due date.

So that's my 2012 in review. A year of a few downs but mostly on the up and up. So what’s on the agenda for 2013?

#1 aim high at uni, I want to earn a work placement at google's London branch for my third year.

#2 move in with my other half

#3 try out more play options and kinks

#4 really beef up at the gym. 2013 will be the year I get big.